nothing lasts forever...

domingo, 4 de septiembre de 2011

we are better human beings when we are with the person we are supposed to be


I cheated on you.
I was unfaithful.
I messed around with someone else.
It was just one time. One inexplicably stupid time. It ment nothing.
I know that by saying this I might lose you forever, cause I broke the trust. Now nothing is going to be the same.
I cheated. And I can't take it back.
But I can't lie to you either.
Now that I've lost you, now that the connection between us is broken I realise how much I loved you. How much I trusted in you. How much I liked the way you did everything. How you made me feel special, loved.
I was weak and lazy.
Relationships take time and effort. I know that now. But somehow, back then I just didn't have the time for you. Or didn't want to make time for you. I thought that you were going to come to me instead. But as you didn't, I took the easy way. The short way. The lazy way.
I'm not back because it went wrong. Well, it did, but I went back because I felt empty, mundane.
The short, easy way didn't work for me.
So I'm here, trying to make my best again. Trying hard to make up that connection we lost somewhere along the way.
I don't want to lose you. You are the best part of me. Without you I'm lost, lonely. I'm nothing. Just an ordinary girl, in a world full of ordinary people. One more of the millions that succumb to the easy way.
I'll try harder. I'll make this work for us. Because you were there when I really needed you, and I ignored you when better times came.
I was a bad friend. And why not, a bad person.
But I'm going to change. I'll be better. Just for you. Because you're worth it.
I know I have no right to ask you to forgive me. But think about it. Maybe you'll find in yourself the kindness to forgive my stupid mistake, the wisdom to understand that I'm not perfect, I make lots of mistakes, this being the worst, and the strength to look past this and fight with me for a new and better relationship.

Blogger, I'm sorry I mistreated you and cheated with Tumblr. It won't happen again. I swear.

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